My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize