I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
