Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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