worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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