She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My hand turned me down
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
