morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
