I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Houston, we have a blender
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
