D3 body, D1 cock
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
