I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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