She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
