He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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