To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
handjob tips. give me some.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
