did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
