u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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