I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
