if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
