So drunk, too bad you don't want this
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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