We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
