I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Couch. On fire.
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