what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
