i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
