Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
