i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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