WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
