Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.