I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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