btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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