eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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