I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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