Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
