remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
