So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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