Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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