suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
