I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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