every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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