I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
3pm strippers are depressing
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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