Where is the hickey?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
