LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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