Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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