I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
