What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So vagazzling was a success
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
