She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
