just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
