I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
