I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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