STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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