thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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