So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
