so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
