drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
