have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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