he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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