dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
