My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
