i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
