So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
