is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
