I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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