Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
