Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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