I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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